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Sometimes, Jay Spring believes he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “detached from reality”, he admits. You feel invincible and you tell yourself, ‘People will see that I surpass everyone else … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

For Spring, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are often followed by a “crash”, a period when he feels overwhelmed and ashamed about his conduct, making him particularly vulnerable to negative feedback from those around him. He came to wonder he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after investigating his behaviors online – and eventually evaluated by a clinician. However, he is skeptical he would have accepted the diagnosis unless he had independently formed that understanding personally. “If you try to tell somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – particularly if they harbor feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve built up. And within that framework, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding The Condition

While people have been called narcissists for more than a century, it’s not always clear what people refer to as the term. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” states a psychology professor, noting the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he suggests many people hide it, as there is widespread prejudice associated with the condition. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a strategy of using people to seek admiration through behaviors including pursuing power,” the specialist clarifies. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in The Disorder

Although a significant majority of people diagnosed with NPD are men, studies suggests this number does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that women with NPD is typically appears in the covert form, which is under-identified. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be more socially permissible, as with everything in society,” explains a 23-year-old who discusses her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on online channels. Frequently, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

“I really struggle with handling criticism and being turned down,” she shares, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I tend to switch to self-protection or I completely shut down.” Despite having this response – which is sometimes referred to as “self-esteem damage”, she has been working to manage it and accept input from her support system, as she aims to avoid falling into the damaging patterns of her past. I used to be manipulative to my partners in my youth,” she states. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she notes she and her partner “operate with an understanding where I’ve instructed him, ‘If I say something messed up, when I use toxic language, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mostly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have positive role models during development. It’s been a process of understanding all this time what is and is not appropriate to say when arguing because it wasn’t modeled for me as a kid,” she shares. Every insult was fair game when my relatives were criticizing me in my early years.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

Personality disorders tend to be linked to difficulties as a child. Genetics play a role,” explains an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “tied to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to manage during childhood”, he states, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was based on meeting certain expectations. They then “persist in applying those same mechanisms as adults”.

In common with many of the those diagnosed, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The adult shares when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve good grades and career success, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships were successful. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he states. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of loving someone, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, in a comparable situation, has difficulty with feelings. She is “really understanding of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he explains – it was surprisingly, she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Subsequent to a consultation to his GP, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an assessment and was informed of his condition. He has been recommended for therapeutic sessions through national services (extended treatment is the main intervention that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the patient queue for 18 months: “They said it is likely to occur maybe February or March next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a small circle about his mental health status, because “negative perceptions are widespread that all narcissists are abusers”, but, personally, he has accepted it. The awareness assists me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he explains. All of the people have come to terms with NPD and are seeking help for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the disorder. But the presence of online advocates and the expansion of online support communities suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number